Wake up and smell the time passing by.
Stumble and fall. Let the soft ground whisper lessons to you.
Get up and sprint across the sky.
Feel the wind whip through your hair and fill your lungs.
Exhale and breathe fire, a blue flame, and watch as it consumes everything around you.
Push through the smoke, break through the wall.
You're free.
- Connor S.
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Many parts work for me, but I want to focus in on just a few. The phrases "let the soft ground whisper lessons to you" and "exhale and breathe fire, a blue flame" really stand out to me. Both of these appeal to the senses particularly well. They also COMBINE senses in a very interesting way (breathe fire...blue = sense of touch and sight; soft ground whisper = touch and sound).
ReplyDeleteMY reading (which may be different than the author's intent) is of the contrast/conflict between nature and society. I read this and the image of a indian warrior came to mind.
--Weidig
I really liked the message in this poem, it's like time is consuming you and then suddenly with a new mind set you break free of it. Really powerful beginning and ending. I like it alot!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this is what you meant by "stumble and fall" but I took it as if when you wake up you are somewhat still sleeping as you make your way out of the room and you trip and land right on the soft carpet of your bedroom thinking to yourself, "next time I better wake up a little more before I try to get up."--matt koeppen
ReplyDeleteI love this poem. It makes me feel inspired; like I can accomplish anything. It really is powerful in the way that it is liberating.
ReplyDeleteJessi
I agree with jessi that the poem is inspiring. Its cool how you conveyed that the person was overcoming trials and kept going until he was free
ReplyDelete^^that was michelle martin... sorry
ReplyDeletethis is really good and i dont think thats what he meant matt but i mean nice try =) this is inspiring and deep you gotta way with words
ReplyDelete-Elyse
This poem really draws you into it. Telling tales of our lives that we live and how constricting they can be. Then at the end everything is lifted. Wonderfully done!
ReplyDelete