You've drained my heart
Now there's no reason left to live
Lying to myself from the very start.
Stealing my heart was always your plan
Claiming you would be more of a man
This has gone on for too lone
Why can't you admit it when you're wrong?
Everything's my fault
I can't catch a break
What you're doing is emotional assault
There's only so much my soul can take.
Spinning my life through a whirlpool of change
A better path could be arranged
If you wait to step up, someone else will step in
and finally, a fresh chapter can begin.
-Elyse Wegner
*long =)
ReplyDeleteNice use of rhyme.
ReplyDeleteWow. Kinda too emotional for me. But still good.
ReplyDeleteAgain, those last two lines are powerful for me. I like the way the piece moves from the speaker's pain to the speaker's challenge ("someone else is going to step in if you don't pull it together") to the speaker's sense of freedom ("a new chapter begins").
ReplyDelete--Weidig
Wow! This was really powerful. I love how the end has promise for a new beginning and the sarcasm I read behind the line "Everything's my fault".
ReplyDeleteI love how this poem is real. You weren't afraid to say how you feel. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThere were a couple lines that grabbed my attention but the key line was "stealing my heart was always your plan, claiming you would be more of a man". This makes it sound like this person is just toting with you or acting as if the things he does to you is just to impress his "bros". This may or may not be true but it is a good way of explaining it. --matt koeppen--
ReplyDeleteI like this. You make it easy for other people to relate to. And you have a very interesting way with words. :)
ReplyDelete-rachel