Get connected to Marilyn Monroe
Trash your stylist
Call in glamorous fashion
And go outrageous like the Lady of Sexy
Glory in peep-toe pumps
Dump the sweet teen Hannah Montana image
Feel your power
Show off your curves
Become diet conscience
Get a stalker
Lose your voice
Become a snow bunny with a secret heartbreak
And serious drug problem
Come on,
Get connected to Marilyn Monroe
You’re a great catch, baby
--by Weidig (Crummy Mag poem-- created from phrases in the crummy mag)
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This is so not a poem for pedophiles: anyone who considers Hannah Montana a "Lady of Sexy" will undoubtedly have problems relating to the piece's meaning. That point aside, my favorite line (other than the Hannah Montana one) is "Get a stalker," because there's really nothing like a heartsick fanboy to boost one's sex appeal.
ReplyDeleteAre all of the lines straight out of crummy magazines? No alterations?
-Kevin
Good question, Kevin. I will admit to two changes: "Hannah Montana" was AFTER "image" in the magazine. ("Dump the sweet teen image, Hannah Montana.") Also, I combined two lines from one of the crummy mags: "become a snowbunny" and "a secret heartbreak" are from two different pages, but I combined them into one using the word "with."
ReplyDeleteI know, I know...I'm such a cheater! :)